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Valentine's Day Special... "Adventure by the Sea" ... part 2
Cassandra Frear, 2/5/2010

Cassandra Frear continues her thoughts on her 25th anniversary trip with her husband. We hope you can take a special moment today with your spouse-- a mini-vacation of a time of togetherness right at home (cozy inside, with the snow falling down on all of us tonight!). 

Adventure by the Sea: Cold Feet.... 

Autumn to winter,

winter into spring,

Spring into summer,

summer into fall,

 

So rolls the changing year,

and so we change;

 

Motion so swift,

we know not that we move.

 - Dinah Maria Mulock Craik

 

There is a point in the preparations for any trip where I get cold feet. It happens after my first excitement cools and before we pull out of the driveway. Getting ready is always more work than I thought it would be. And it makes me tired. That's when the trouble starts.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," crept into my thoughts two days later. I felt too old and saggy for an adventure. My clothes didn't quite fit. I didn't like the way I looked. I didn't have anything suitable to wear. How did my wardrobe get in this condition?

There was too much to do. There wasn't enough time. I would forget something crucial. I had trouble sleeping. My mind raced over all of it and added up the hours.

"Definitely not enough time. Why did I think we should do this?"

Every woman wants to look her best on her anniversary trip. But most of my wardrobe was 800 miles away in storage. I had few choices. Going on a shopping spree was not a good option: time was short and we were on a budget. I'd have to make do with what was in the closet.

The weather forecast kept changing. Every time it changed, I changed my outfits. Three times, I changed them. But it didn't change the fact that I'm aging.

At one point that week, I put my leg up to stretch it and placed my hand behind my calf. I found loose skin just below and behind the knee. Because I'm a walker, my calves are the firmest place on my body. Finding loose skin there was like learning I was born in some exotic place and adopted by American parents. I just couldn't take it in. Every time I sat down, I felt behind my knee.

What else was sagging that I hadn't noticed?

Could I forget about the way my body had changed and the way our life has stalled and the limitations we face -- and just soak in the love and happiness waiting for me? Could I forget that our life now is not anything like what we'd planned and just turn from that to drink in the beauty around me? Was it possible for me to enjoy a vacation? Or would the disappointments hang over me, echoing in every step I took?

I had a decision to make.

_____________________________________________

Can you think of a moment when you had to choose a positive attitude? Are you glad you did?


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